So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
