The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
