one might say we're banned from that church
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
