whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
