It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
