i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
