that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
