you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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