Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
