Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
