She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
