last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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