We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
