About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
