She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
