I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
