How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
