he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
