if you like me you must not know who I am
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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