we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Two words: nipple clamps
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