ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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