Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
