You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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