ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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