Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
