How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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