I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
MIDGETS
????
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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