ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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