super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
