I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
