Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
