Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
