His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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