why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
