we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
