would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
