I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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