I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
