SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
