worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
