How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Randomize
