real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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