i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
