I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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