What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
