Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
