I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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