dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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