me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
