Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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