Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
