i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
