You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
