i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
